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| 今日アタシはごご３時半ごろクインさんと電話で話しましたから、今ちょっと嬉しいです。時間はあまりありませんが、んんとっ・・・ニコニコだろう？ 彼はもう一度（英語で）「大好き」のいった。 彼はボイフレーンドですから、たいていあのことを聞きますけど、今難しいですね。 おとうとだからね。 クインさんはおとうとと話しましたから。 そして、母と話しましたから。 でも、今ちょっともやさしいですか。 そうかな・・・ それとも、 あの電話の会話だけ？ 明日あのしつもんをある？
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| Sometimes I feel the world
Crumbling here beneath my feet
Sometimes birds call my name
To talk to people I'd never meet
But let's turn these crooked corners,
Make a point to sweep the dust
Far away, across the borders
Show them that it isn't lust
In this world so large and lonely,
Looking for another friend
Let's join them all together
Just around the river bend
by Chelsea Baumgartner 9/18/09 12:14PM
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| 456 days, 6 hours, and 25 minutes until I'm 18. That's about 1 1/4 years. &&For that day... for once in my life.. I want my birthday to be something special. Sweet sixteen, no one cared about that. No one blinked twice.. cared to look, even... when I turned 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 10, or 12. The only one who has cared is me, and an occasional friend. I've had 2 total who have ever remembered and actually wanted to do something about it. I mean.. even just.. I know I'm not supposed to celebrate birthdays, and I understand why... but I even just wish.. that maybe I'd get to see an extra friend or two who I don't usually get to see, or that I'd get to do even one something small that's fun, like.. heck, even taking a walk to the park would be nice. Which.. I was gonna do right now, actually. Right now.. I want to do it with my friends.
These next two years.. it aint gonna be so meaningless. Me and one other person know why. Well, I suppose some people can guess why turning 18 is significant.. but there is someone who understands better than anyone else.
Let me leave. Please. Don't make me come "home". To sit through another 2 hours of counseling barely feels worth the effort each week, every two weeks, whatever. &&Yet I somehow agreed to have it continued...? Well, Josiah said he thinks we should try it again anyways. So here we are. Probably will be taking away from time to do homework. But I hope that something will remotely change so I can remotely survive. God, this could so inspire me to write a song right now.
Does anyone else want a new life? Does anyone else have one waiting for them? Do they have it staring at them at they're stuck behind bars, waiting to be set free? Does anyone else.. feel like me?
Makes me remember something from school ending last year. Tamara, I think her name was.. she was crying... saying how she was so sick of dealing with the same sh*t for 18 years of her life. I think of her sometimes, what she must have gone through. I wonder if I will ever know.
My dad is home now. I have to go. >.< | | |
| Xanga>Homework≤ School<Anime<Kaze!! 
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| Sooo yeah my dad finally decided that he wanted to block me from my email. =.= Least the censor word he used doesn't even do anything. Nice try. But I have information I need in there! Yes, I understand.. it's a bit on the irresponsible side for me to check my email while I'm supposed to be working on homework. But when all day it's either expected that I study or clean.. some cooking here and there, for a father who totally disrespects me and thinks of me basically as dirt.. ya, of course.. it's gonna be so easy to avoid. It's gonna be so thoughtlessly simple to just ignore this thing called a social life when I'm inside the house all day, and the people I talk to are actually cats. Mhmm. They're cute, alright. And while one is meowing endlessly into my ear right now-- oh, oh, stepping on my arm.. trying to type for me... Meh, what am I complaining about? I'd be so freaking lonely if I didn't have these cats. Thanks to you too, Quinn. I mean it. like wth though... my dad wants me to be suicidal or something. The way he's treating me is as such:
1) Chelsea? Who is she? I've never heard that name before
2) Omg there's a freak in the house!!! Run away!
3) No no wait FIRE! It needs to be destroyed!
4) I'm the best dad ever and yet LOOK. This is pitiful. Go in your room and cry before I make you.
Excuse me. .__. *waves arms around* Does any one notice that I'm a living, breathing person?
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